Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
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I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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