It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.