So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips