I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
