He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
