FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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