I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.