Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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