I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
