Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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