Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
