The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
