Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
