sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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