She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
