Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
