walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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