last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
