sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
