all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
