I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
