no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
