I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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