I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
