just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
