Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
