thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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