You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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