I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
