It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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