watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize