Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
