I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
