I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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