this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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