I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
