I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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