He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
