just come out here and I will go home with you...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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