im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
