How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
