I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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