her vagine was all disorganized.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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