Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize