She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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