By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
