i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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