If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
