Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
