he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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