found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
