wakey wakey hands off snakey
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
