am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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