So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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