there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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