The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Vodka?
Forever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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