My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Congratulations! We have a period
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