Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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