Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
