The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
