That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
