No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize