Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My penis needs a shock collar
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
