Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
