I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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