theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ok first of all what the fuck
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize