mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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