I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize