We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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