North Korea, Best Korea!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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