he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
